Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
