stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Rumble strips road head = magical
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
