I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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