lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
