I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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