people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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