I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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