do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
