I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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