he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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