Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
