I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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