eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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