i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
