He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
