Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize