I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize