Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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