Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Panties = found
Randomize
