This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
