honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
