Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
