What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
cat food counts as protein by the way
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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