I could have mohawked her pubes.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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