I hope my margaritas pass through security.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
