The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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