My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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