I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
