when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
