you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
