I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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