I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
