He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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