I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
