Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize