there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So squirting runs in the family.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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