im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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