Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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