It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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