I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
