sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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