best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
