I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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