now i know why i became what i already was.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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