bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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