I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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