all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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