in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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