Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
