he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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