remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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