the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize