i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
