Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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