i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize