I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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