Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
