He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
