i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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