And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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