It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
