Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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