This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
