I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
